Well i anticipated the game today more than any in a long time. i love the win or go home situations in sports because it brings out the best in players, and the worst if you live in the dallas, ft. worth area.
as soon as oakland beat tampa bay i knew it was not going to be good for the girls. that meant if philly won they were in the playoffs too. everything had to go right for the eagles to have the shot of playing to get in the playoffs and it happened.
i was a romo lover until and old friend from high school pointed out that romo had not done anything in a big game or after november. a light went off in my head. dang he is right. and ever since then i have not looked at romo the same since then.
go back and look at romo's performance in all the big games the last two years. not very good is giving romo too much credit. after today it is going to be hard to be a girls fan until there is a new QB in town. i truly believe romo just cant handle the pressure. he says all the right things and answers the questions like you would hope he would, but he stinks in the big games on the field.
i know there are other players and he is not solely responsible for the girls not being able to play in dec and jan, but the NFL is all about the QB.
you can just tell during the game today that he looked scared and not confident. there are certain mannerisms that players do when the get scared or back down from a fight. it happened to players on my teams throughout the years and one comes to mind right off the bat. i had a point guard in high school who was one of the best point guards i had played with. he was really good and i was soooo excited to play with him, but when it came to the actual game time he was no were to be found. he just got scared and didn't play the same way.
i am not saying romo is that bad, but so far he has not handled the pressure in the big spot light for the big games. he will be great during the regular season, but he will continue to make the throws that have you wondering why in the heck did he throw it. the last two games, both of which would have birthed the girls into the playoffs, he threw several jump balls that were severely under thrown and not even CLOSE to the receiver.
the good news is regarding the wife because this off season and starting next season my anticipation and anxiety concerning the girls will be at an all time LOW.
Either romo has to go or jason garret. romo blamed the scheme for the last two games including the eagles game today on the poor offensive play saying the league had caught up to jasons scheming and he has not adjusted.
my point is you don't see the arizona cardinals not getting the ball to fitzgerald and boldin. two #1 receivers putting up HUGE numbers and catching the ball everywhere. why cant the girls do that?
romo or garret needs to go.........
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
forgiving myself part 1
Sports have been a part of my life since I can remember. From the first hoops memory playing in church in the RA’s (royal ambassador) basketball league in elementary school all the way thru high school, sports pretty much dominated my life.
If I had a dollar for every time I hit a baseball or took a jump shot practicing I would no longer have to work for a living. My dad always had us practicing. It’s just what we did.
Unfortunately all that I had accomplished through high school came to an abrupt end. I have never been able to forgive myself for that. I will do my best to explain what that means.
Over the years I got to play Brazil, Japan, and many other cool countries in the select baseball world series. I also got to play hoops with some of the best players in the country while playing in some of the most prestigious tournaments.
It has been an on going battle since I graduated high school. Everything I worked on and all the hard hours of practicing were so that one day I could get an athletic scholarship to college. My parents didn’t have the ability to pay for college and getting an athletic scholarship was the only way to go.
While growing up sports were first, and sports were second. Unfortunately for me school work was never a priority or pushed by my parents. My freshman year I went to Eastern Hills High in funky town, East Ft. Worth, smack dab in the hood. When I was recruited to play hoops at Coppell High it was like jumping from high school to college academically. I was SOOO lost and behind. Not to mention the huge demographic change of being one of two white guys (brother #2) in the entire hoops program at Eastern Hills to only 5 blacks in the entire school at Coppell. I also struggled mightily with the female population since there were very few white girls at Eastern Hills.
I can’t tell you how many times my teachers passed me so I could play ball. It got to where I knew the teachers would pass me so I just floated thru classes. I was an office aid my senior year and I would write my own absent notes from my parents so I could skip anytime I wanted. I had the system down pat. I ended up missing over 25 classes and had to make them up in the summer just to graduate.
I had a rough time playing hoops at Coppell. My first year there I flunked Algebra 2 and couldn’t play until the second report card came out. My junior year I broke a bone in my right foot and had to have a screw inserted so I could play that season. I probably missed half the games we played my sophomore and junior year. I was still able to do my thing and get all the top awards from district and the region. I was always either offensive player of the year or MVP of the region. I was getting letters from USC, UT, Vanderbilt, and several D-1 schools. Considering your sophomore and junior year are when you are recruited the most I was very lucky and blessed. I am sure my mom has a box in the attic with all my letters and recruiting stuff. To this point it has been too painful to get them out and look at them. I used to hang certain ones on my wall so I would continue to work out and get better. It’s just too bad I didn’t take that work ethic in the classroom.
My senior season came to end in the playoffs and it was time to figure out what I was going to do and where I might go to school. I signed a letter of intent to play hoops and was well on my way to going to college. One thing I had to do was take the SAT. I had been putting it off because at that time I didn’t realize how important it was. I mean my senior year was almost halfway over and I hadn’t taken the SAT once. I hadn’t even taken a practice test or studied for it. Needless to say, I bombed it and scored so low I didn’t qualify to get an athletic scholarship. To be continued…….
If I had a dollar for every time I hit a baseball or took a jump shot practicing I would no longer have to work for a living. My dad always had us practicing. It’s just what we did.
Unfortunately all that I had accomplished through high school came to an abrupt end. I have never been able to forgive myself for that. I will do my best to explain what that means.
Over the years I got to play Brazil, Japan, and many other cool countries in the select baseball world series. I also got to play hoops with some of the best players in the country while playing in some of the most prestigious tournaments.
It has been an on going battle since I graduated high school. Everything I worked on and all the hard hours of practicing were so that one day I could get an athletic scholarship to college. My parents didn’t have the ability to pay for college and getting an athletic scholarship was the only way to go.
While growing up sports were first, and sports were second. Unfortunately for me school work was never a priority or pushed by my parents. My freshman year I went to Eastern Hills High in funky town, East Ft. Worth, smack dab in the hood. When I was recruited to play hoops at Coppell High it was like jumping from high school to college academically. I was SOOO lost and behind. Not to mention the huge demographic change of being one of two white guys (brother #2) in the entire hoops program at Eastern Hills to only 5 blacks in the entire school at Coppell. I also struggled mightily with the female population since there were very few white girls at Eastern Hills.
I can’t tell you how many times my teachers passed me so I could play ball. It got to where I knew the teachers would pass me so I just floated thru classes. I was an office aid my senior year and I would write my own absent notes from my parents so I could skip anytime I wanted. I had the system down pat. I ended up missing over 25 classes and had to make them up in the summer just to graduate.
I had a rough time playing hoops at Coppell. My first year there I flunked Algebra 2 and couldn’t play until the second report card came out. My junior year I broke a bone in my right foot and had to have a screw inserted so I could play that season. I probably missed half the games we played my sophomore and junior year. I was still able to do my thing and get all the top awards from district and the region. I was always either offensive player of the year or MVP of the region. I was getting letters from USC, UT, Vanderbilt, and several D-1 schools. Considering your sophomore and junior year are when you are recruited the most I was very lucky and blessed. I am sure my mom has a box in the attic with all my letters and recruiting stuff. To this point it has been too painful to get them out and look at them. I used to hang certain ones on my wall so I would continue to work out and get better. It’s just too bad I didn’t take that work ethic in the classroom.
My senior season came to end in the playoffs and it was time to figure out what I was going to do and where I might go to school. I signed a letter of intent to play hoops and was well on my way to going to college. One thing I had to do was take the SAT. I had been putting it off because at that time I didn’t realize how important it was. I mean my senior year was almost halfway over and I hadn’t taken the SAT once. I hadn’t even taken a practice test or studied for it. Needless to say, I bombed it and scored so low I didn’t qualify to get an athletic scholarship. To be continued…….
Friday, December 26, 2008
Samara 4wheelin it up!
check out this video. this was at my brothers house Christmas Day. My daughter samara and my bros boy levi. they are 4months apart and are trouble together!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
dad and mom
so i know i talk a lot about my dad and rag on him often about his choices, but i do love him and my mom and had a really good upbringing. they had me and my bro in church every sunday morning, night, and wednesdays that established our relationship with Christ.
although i rebelled i eventually came back to Christ once i learned i could not do it on my own.
we always had the best shoes, bikes, clothes, and sporting equipment you could ask for. i only say that to try and explain my parents wanted the best for us and loved us very much, and in my moms case a little too much. i was a mommas boy to say the least.
anyway the holidays are about sharing with family and celebrating the most important birth of all.
thanks mom and dad for always being there and showing me and joey all your support.
although i rebelled i eventually came back to Christ once i learned i could not do it on my own.
we always had the best shoes, bikes, clothes, and sporting equipment you could ask for. i only say that to try and explain my parents wanted the best for us and loved us very much, and in my moms case a little too much. i was a mommas boy to say the least.
anyway the holidays are about sharing with family and celebrating the most important birth of all.
thanks mom and dad for always being there and showing me and joey all your support.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
depression-bi-polar
this topic has entered my life the past year like a freakin train wreck. i have learned so much since i got married. and now since it directly effects me and my well being i am very sensitive to the topic.
i have to admit my first 26 years of life i knew nothing about depression or bi polar disorder. and because of the way i was raised i thought people who suffered from depression just wanted attention, were geeks with no friends, or just needed to get over it. and i was raised that if you had any problems that were associated with being moody, depressed, or anything associated with not being "normal" you could get thru it with putting your problems in Gods hands and letting Him get you thru it. i will get to this point later, but i struggle big time with this theory.
even today i hate saying i have to take medicine to be a certain way or to achieve a certain state of mind that is bearable to my family. i mean it really sucks that i have to take pills to be nice and not loose my temper, or be agitated so quickly. which let me tell you that it only takes maybe 2 days to have a " i dont give a crap" attitude and to get so mad at the little stuff that i loose my cool and just really want to get in a fight to take out my anger. i will say certain things sometimes when i haven't taken my meds to just start a fight or just say mean things because when someone does something i dont like i will think in my head " are you really that stupid or dumb"? i really will believe that in my head when i am not taking medicine and be really mad about whatever it is.
so i was going to lose my wife because i was an angry mean guy so i finally went to the doctor upon my wife's request so i wouldn't lose her.
So the first time they put me on a depression med and it worked okay, it definitely changed my life from that point. But the big killer was finding out later that i had A-D-D. Now at first i had no idea what that meant and didnt believe it because i was not hyper at all. i am a very laid back guy so i did not get it until i really learned what A-D-D was.
So in a nutshell my brain bounces back and forth between every thought, idea, and everything else that your brain processes. i have a very difficult time concentrating on one thing without my brain going somewhere else, and all over the board at that. so what that means is my brain literally would wear me out to the point i never wanted to talk to my wife because when i got home i was so mentally exhausted all i wanted to do was watch tv and not think. i mean i was not physically tired but for all who really knows what it feels like to be mentally tired and worn out it is almost worse. it really is not fair and not fun.
so now on top of taking a depression med i got another prescription to help my mind slow down and able to concentrate and not be so tired all the time. Adorall (not sure on the spelling) is just really speed. like Ritalin. its really crazy cause you give me speed (adorall) and it slows my mind down to were i can think and concentrate, but if you gave my wife speed she would be bouncing all over the walls.
now the real stinker about this is school. i was the worst student on the planet. i could never pay attention in school. i hated it. my teachers would literally pass me so i could play sports because i just didnt care and never did any work. and a BIG reason is because i would get so frustrated that i couldnt stay focused and i would quit and not do anything. So until i met my wife i honestly thought i was just not a smart person. i mean book smart. i always had great common sense but i was not book smart. if you dont believe me than let me know and i can get real detailed on the whole book vs common sense thing. and my self esteem was crushed because of this. i mean i always acted cool and thought i was hot stuff, but deep down i always knew i was stupid cause i struggled in school so much.
well just an example of how bad it was my senior yr when i had a full education paid for because of my athletic ability i could not score high enough on my SAT to qualify for a athletic scholarship. i never studied for my SAT or took a pre test and walked in to take it for the first time and BOMBED it. i had several schools just waiting for my score to proceed and i was so embarrassed and felt stupid. well i can write a book on teachers passing the good athletes so they can be eligible, and what happened after the test and my whole athletic career. that is later to come.
so anyway, now i am taking two different meds with one being a freakin narcotic to be a certain way. being very competitive i will go thru phases were i think i can do it on my own and not take the meds. it never works. and when i dont take the meds of course the wife can tell and always pulls the " i dont care about her and my family". which i can understand why she says that but its not true and goes way deeper than that.
i hate going to the pharmacy to pick up my meds. i get so embarrassed. i feel like a loser. and partly because the way i was raised and the whole you dont need anything but God. and the other main reason is because the way society treats and looks at people with depression. i used to think the same things. get over it, oh pity party, and on and on.
so this is the main part of my struggle. why do i have to take stupid pills to be a happy person. well my wife is great and i always have to remind myself what she says. " would a cancer patient not take medicine, or someone with a disease not take any medicine"? she tries to tell me that i have a condition that i can not help and is not my fault, and that i need medicine for. so i have been trying to really get that and focus on the fact that its my brain and i cant do anything about it. lets just say work in progress.
just let me tell you that the mind is a crazy thing. i dont need to freak people out but if you dont know anyone with depression or bi polar stuff than please dont judge us and look down on us because that makes us go in the wrong direction.
dang this is getting long. do blog post go this long?
well check this out. my mom was diagnosed with bi polar this summer after taking too many pills in an attempt to end her pain. after a long summer she is doing much better and got on the correct meds to help her, and most importantly my dad has learned what depression and bi polar are so that he no longer (i hope for him) makes it worse for my mom but can actually help her now. again this whole deal with mom and dad will be coming soon on this blog. oh that one will be good.
so i honestly believe that i have some form of bi polar like my mom. it runs ALL over my family and is very hereditary. i am just like my mom in SO many ways. we are the emotional ones in the family to say the least. lets just say very sensitive.
this scares me beyond belief. my meds work great and found a good combo that has made me a new person so i dont even want to go to the doc and mention my mom and bi polar because i know in my gut i am bi polar. and i dont want that official label of bi polar. for some reason i think bi polar sounds and is way worse than just having depression. again the world makes it out to be such a bad thing and makes people who struggle with this stuff feel inadequate and not up to par as "normal" people. if you dont know anything about this topic please dont spit out something stupid about what you think depression is. and for goodness sake please understand depression goes way beyond just feeling down or feeling bad about whatever.
So i have a new friend i met at church who struggles with some of the very same things i do with taking pills to be someone different and wanting to do it on your own so you can be normal and it has been so cool. Shout out to you bro. it has really helped being able to talk to you without being looked at as a freak or weirdo. i am so happy God brought us together.
So as time has gone on with this whole struggle i am getting better with it and learning how to deal with it. i do believe you can do anything with Christ and accomplish anything with Christ so it is hard relying on meds, but maybe God allowed humans to formulate and invent medicine to help his creation. like that old joke with the man waiting at his house and trusting on God when it was flooding to save him, and when the water was at the roof top and a boat and helicopter came to save him and he said no he was waiting on word from God, and God says i sent a boat and a helicopter to save you, or something like that, you get my drift.
peace and love
i have to admit my first 26 years of life i knew nothing about depression or bi polar disorder. and because of the way i was raised i thought people who suffered from depression just wanted attention, were geeks with no friends, or just needed to get over it. and i was raised that if you had any problems that were associated with being moody, depressed, or anything associated with not being "normal" you could get thru it with putting your problems in Gods hands and letting Him get you thru it. i will get to this point later, but i struggle big time with this theory.
even today i hate saying i have to take medicine to be a certain way or to achieve a certain state of mind that is bearable to my family. i mean it really sucks that i have to take pills to be nice and not loose my temper, or be agitated so quickly. which let me tell you that it only takes maybe 2 days to have a " i dont give a crap" attitude and to get so mad at the little stuff that i loose my cool and just really want to get in a fight to take out my anger. i will say certain things sometimes when i haven't taken my meds to just start a fight or just say mean things because when someone does something i dont like i will think in my head " are you really that stupid or dumb"? i really will believe that in my head when i am not taking medicine and be really mad about whatever it is.
so i was going to lose my wife because i was an angry mean guy so i finally went to the doctor upon my wife's request so i wouldn't lose her.
So the first time they put me on a depression med and it worked okay, it definitely changed my life from that point. But the big killer was finding out later that i had A-D-D. Now at first i had no idea what that meant and didnt believe it because i was not hyper at all. i am a very laid back guy so i did not get it until i really learned what A-D-D was.
So in a nutshell my brain bounces back and forth between every thought, idea, and everything else that your brain processes. i have a very difficult time concentrating on one thing without my brain going somewhere else, and all over the board at that. so what that means is my brain literally would wear me out to the point i never wanted to talk to my wife because when i got home i was so mentally exhausted all i wanted to do was watch tv and not think. i mean i was not physically tired but for all who really knows what it feels like to be mentally tired and worn out it is almost worse. it really is not fair and not fun.
so now on top of taking a depression med i got another prescription to help my mind slow down and able to concentrate and not be so tired all the time. Adorall (not sure on the spelling) is just really speed. like Ritalin. its really crazy cause you give me speed (adorall) and it slows my mind down to were i can think and concentrate, but if you gave my wife speed she would be bouncing all over the walls.
now the real stinker about this is school. i was the worst student on the planet. i could never pay attention in school. i hated it. my teachers would literally pass me so i could play sports because i just didnt care and never did any work. and a BIG reason is because i would get so frustrated that i couldnt stay focused and i would quit and not do anything. So until i met my wife i honestly thought i was just not a smart person. i mean book smart. i always had great common sense but i was not book smart. if you dont believe me than let me know and i can get real detailed on the whole book vs common sense thing. and my self esteem was crushed because of this. i mean i always acted cool and thought i was hot stuff, but deep down i always knew i was stupid cause i struggled in school so much.
well just an example of how bad it was my senior yr when i had a full education paid for because of my athletic ability i could not score high enough on my SAT to qualify for a athletic scholarship. i never studied for my SAT or took a pre test and walked in to take it for the first time and BOMBED it. i had several schools just waiting for my score to proceed and i was so embarrassed and felt stupid. well i can write a book on teachers passing the good athletes so they can be eligible, and what happened after the test and my whole athletic career. that is later to come.
so anyway, now i am taking two different meds with one being a freakin narcotic to be a certain way. being very competitive i will go thru phases were i think i can do it on my own and not take the meds. it never works. and when i dont take the meds of course the wife can tell and always pulls the " i dont care about her and my family". which i can understand why she says that but its not true and goes way deeper than that.
i hate going to the pharmacy to pick up my meds. i get so embarrassed. i feel like a loser. and partly because the way i was raised and the whole you dont need anything but God. and the other main reason is because the way society treats and looks at people with depression. i used to think the same things. get over it, oh pity party, and on and on.
so this is the main part of my struggle. why do i have to take stupid pills to be a happy person. well my wife is great and i always have to remind myself what she says. " would a cancer patient not take medicine, or someone with a disease not take any medicine"? she tries to tell me that i have a condition that i can not help and is not my fault, and that i need medicine for. so i have been trying to really get that and focus on the fact that its my brain and i cant do anything about it. lets just say work in progress.
just let me tell you that the mind is a crazy thing. i dont need to freak people out but if you dont know anyone with depression or bi polar stuff than please dont judge us and look down on us because that makes us go in the wrong direction.
dang this is getting long. do blog post go this long?
well check this out. my mom was diagnosed with bi polar this summer after taking too many pills in an attempt to end her pain. after a long summer she is doing much better and got on the correct meds to help her, and most importantly my dad has learned what depression and bi polar are so that he no longer (i hope for him) makes it worse for my mom but can actually help her now. again this whole deal with mom and dad will be coming soon on this blog. oh that one will be good.
so i honestly believe that i have some form of bi polar like my mom. it runs ALL over my family and is very hereditary. i am just like my mom in SO many ways. we are the emotional ones in the family to say the least. lets just say very sensitive.
this scares me beyond belief. my meds work great and found a good combo that has made me a new person so i dont even want to go to the doc and mention my mom and bi polar because i know in my gut i am bi polar. and i dont want that official label of bi polar. for some reason i think bi polar sounds and is way worse than just having depression. again the world makes it out to be such a bad thing and makes people who struggle with this stuff feel inadequate and not up to par as "normal" people. if you dont know anything about this topic please dont spit out something stupid about what you think depression is. and for goodness sake please understand depression goes way beyond just feeling down or feeling bad about whatever.
So i have a new friend i met at church who struggles with some of the very same things i do with taking pills to be someone different and wanting to do it on your own so you can be normal and it has been so cool. Shout out to you bro. it has really helped being able to talk to you without being looked at as a freak or weirdo. i am so happy God brought us together.
So as time has gone on with this whole struggle i am getting better with it and learning how to deal with it. i do believe you can do anything with Christ and accomplish anything with Christ so it is hard relying on meds, but maybe God allowed humans to formulate and invent medicine to help his creation. like that old joke with the man waiting at his house and trusting on God when it was flooding to save him, and when the water was at the roof top and a boat and helicopter came to save him and he said no he was waiting on word from God, and God says i sent a boat and a helicopter to save you, or something like that, you get my drift.
peace and love
Saturday, December 20, 2008
cowboys-ravens
this is the best time of year for me. Cowboys fighting to make playoffs, no baseball, and the holidays. the game tonight is beyond excitement. i am going to my brothers for the game tonight and its all i can do not to think about it. that's probably not good but i don't care. when tony romo said pro football is like a reality show that has a whole week to build, he was right. i don't know of any man who would not play professional sports if the opportunity were there and of course had the skill. so to see and hear what goes on all week on the sports talk radio shows, and espn (for everyone but me) with nfl live and how many times a day it comes on, it builds to such a great climax that either leaves you in a really good mood, or it rocks your whole week.
i know i put to much into sports and let it dictate my mood too much, but sports is everything to me and have played at a very high level ever since i was a wee little kid. i was always really good (ok the best) at every sport i played so i now and still feel those feelings when running onto the field or court at the beginning of the game and the competitive juices that flow, and with me more than anything the feeling of winning.
winning was everything to me and drove me to be the best that i could be. so i understand a lot of the TO saga with romo and whitten. the average "white guy" fan always says TO is a distraction and disgrace and i wish he were not here. i am so tired of hearing that. TO is just a fierce competitor who wants to win. he even said "winning cures everything" and he is right. If they win and TO has 1 catch for 7 yards so what. there are so many nuances to sports that if you didn't play, and get a lot of playing time you may not understand. TO does so much for all the other players its crazy. there is a reason whitten is so open ALL the time. i am not saying TO is a saint or anything because he does make a lot of mistakes, but the whole reality show of NFL football has hindered TO because whatever he says and does gets blown WAY out proportion and analyzed way to hard.
anyway i do believe roy williams (the receiver) will take over for TO in the future and be a good #1 receiver, but right now get freakin TO the ball down the MIDDLE of the field and let him work. It baffles me how Fitzgerald and Boldin catch so many balls when everyone tries to stop them. Warner gets them the ball no matter what.
Romo will have to hook up with Roy W tonight in my opinion if the boys are going to win. i look for Roy to make at least one big game changing play.
so i hope my cows win and the eagles loose because the last game in Philly if the eagles win on Sunday will be a huge game and not sure my nerves can handle it. lol
i know i put to much into sports and let it dictate my mood too much, but sports is everything to me and have played at a very high level ever since i was a wee little kid. i was always really good (ok the best) at every sport i played so i now and still feel those feelings when running onto the field or court at the beginning of the game and the competitive juices that flow, and with me more than anything the feeling of winning.
winning was everything to me and drove me to be the best that i could be. so i understand a lot of the TO saga with romo and whitten. the average "white guy" fan always says TO is a distraction and disgrace and i wish he were not here. i am so tired of hearing that. TO is just a fierce competitor who wants to win. he even said "winning cures everything" and he is right. If they win and TO has 1 catch for 7 yards so what. there are so many nuances to sports that if you didn't play, and get a lot of playing time you may not understand. TO does so much for all the other players its crazy. there is a reason whitten is so open ALL the time. i am not saying TO is a saint or anything because he does make a lot of mistakes, but the whole reality show of NFL football has hindered TO because whatever he says and does gets blown WAY out proportion and analyzed way to hard.
anyway i do believe roy williams (the receiver) will take over for TO in the future and be a good #1 receiver, but right now get freakin TO the ball down the MIDDLE of the field and let him work. It baffles me how Fitzgerald and Boldin catch so many balls when everyone tries to stop them. Warner gets them the ball no matter what.
Romo will have to hook up with Roy W tonight in my opinion if the boys are going to win. i look for Roy to make at least one big game changing play.
so i hope my cows win and the eagles loose because the last game in Philly if the eagles win on Sunday will be a huge game and not sure my nerves can handle it. lol
introduction
well my wife has been an avid blogger for awhile now but i have never really gotten into the whole blogger seen. I have to admit i am really excited about writing whatever i want, regarding whatever i want, but i am taking a different approach to this blog. A lot of what i am going to post is going to be therapy to me. It has always helped me to write out my thoughts and feelings regarding good things and bad things so i figured this could help me and maybe others who have some of the same struggles and worries as me. And maybe a laugh or two along the way. I know my wife has to be extremely nervous about what i am going to write and say, and for good reason, but she has nothing to worry about. honestly i thought guys who did blogs were considered "gay" and never thought guys did blogs since my wife does nothing but look at her mom blogs and craft blogs, but i guess i was wrong about that one.
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